My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
