honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
