i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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