I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
