conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
