babies were throwing up all over the place
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
