you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
