Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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