Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
