I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
