The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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