walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize