Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize