Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
