I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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