Jerry, you need to find god
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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