Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
