so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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