So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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