im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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