Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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