did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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