I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
