Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
