i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
