she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
