who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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