He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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