your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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