i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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