what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
