lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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