This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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