Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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