I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
