I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
