just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
