This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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