Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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