there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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