You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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