if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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