Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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