It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My vagina is officially offended.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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