you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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