Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
