I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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