considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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