i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
high people should be assigned attendants
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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