I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
