I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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