I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
