What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
