Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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