i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
