Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I look better un-naked...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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