I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
