she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
