I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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