Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Randomize
