it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
