ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
