tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
