If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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