PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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