oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
What drink are we having for lunch?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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