I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
