Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
