So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Someone came in the potted fern
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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