Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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