talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
