The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize