i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
