I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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